6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
