I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
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GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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