suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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