i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
