A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
