just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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