nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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