you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
then he tried to convert me to islam
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....