My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
