I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
