I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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