accomplished twins. life is a go
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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