There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
