i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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