i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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