First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
