My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
