My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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