just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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