Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
