Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize