More tranny stories later!
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
