Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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