i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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