he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
