Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
