So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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