Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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