i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
