so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
