after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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