it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
