It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize