I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
