...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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