I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
