Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
