it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
