He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
