Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
