do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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