Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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