my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My vagina is very pro this idea
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