I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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