I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I deserve this hangover.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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