i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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