Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
