i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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