i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
