she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My vagina just clenched in fear
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize