You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
