How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
