hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
