So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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