It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He felt like a one man threesome
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
