I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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