just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
