he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
That accounts for only three of the penises
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
