I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
