Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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