I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize