Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
