her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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