i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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